Yesterday I found the most beautiful and impressive picture that I’ve ever seen in my life. It was in the free newspaper ADN from Madrid.
Whoever still has the newspaper ADN from yesterday, 23rd of July 2008, please, pretty please contact me.
The look on her face, the beauty, the hate, the coldness, the picture is absolutely perfect.
later edit:
here is the picture, only that the quality is bad and due to that you can’t see the look on her face, the only thing that makes the photo special
Today, during the evening I only had one song in my mind: “Love of my life, you’ve hurt me, broken my heart, and now you leave me”… It’s always so difficult to say goodbye. All my life in Madrid, everything started and finished in my apartment in Callao.
I think it’s ment to be this way. Before going from Madrid I’ll probably say again goodbye, again here. I don’t understand why it hurts that much. I don’t know myself, I didn’t know you, I will never get to know you although I wished I could.
We both wanted me out of there so much, why did we feel sorry when we finally got what we wanted? Why do I still feel like crying? Why couldn’t we solve it before, how did we get here? Your room looked so empty today… I feel empty. Sometimes I thought I hated Madrid. I don’t. I never did. It always tought me, it always took care of me, it always finally made me happy. I put my hope again in you my adoptive city.
I’m listening to Ned, to Crixtina, to the Ting Tings… we’ve seen all of them together. Why is it so hard? I feel… I just feel bad, I feel as something’s missing. You always remember the good things when you lose somebody. I remember Fuenlabrada, me lying on you knee, you asking me if I wanted to marry you, me saying yes without any hesitation… I remember the concerts, the parties, I remember walking with you and how you had that “weired feeling” that you were fucking while walking, the time when we stopped near Atocha and you just hugged me without saying anything, staying in the sun…
I remember you going to England, I remember our first mails when you didn’t know how to spell “opportunity”, I remember being happy.
I remember so many things, it feels like an eternity and there are only a few months. I should “get a grip” and get going but… I’m in Callao… where I first met you, where we were staying in the dirty kitchen, only the two of us, listening to Delilah and The Blower’s Daughter, to Dust in the Wind and Michael Jackson…
I love you, I love you, the person that I met and that made me happy. Thank you for that and I’m sorry that it had to end so soon. I’ll be thinking of you a lot. I know that you will have a great life and I trust in you. And your Spanish is brilliant my English boy!
Dupa muuulta vreme am hotarat sa preiau o leapsa de la Gadjodillo. Asa cum spune si ea, nu e graba, deci nu conteaza ca am luat-o dupa mai bine de jumatate de an.
Leapsa suna cam asa:
“Regulile de aur si nisip:
1. Ia cartea care este cea mai aproape de tine.
2. Deschide-o la pagina 123.
3. Găseste a 5-a propozitie/frază.
4. Postează pe blog textul următoarelor 4 propozitii/fraze cu aceste instructiuni.
5. Nu îndrazni sa scotocesti prin rafturi după cartea aceea foarte deosebită sau “intelectuală”.
6. Da leapsa mai departe la alti 6 prieteni.”
Cea mai apropiata carte este de fapt un curs de protocol (mda… mi-a ajuns cutitul la os si am inceput sa mai si invat). Ei bine, iata rezultatul:
En este ultimo caso, solo es recomandable en el comedor tipo margarita, pues en otros tipos de nada vale disimular algo que es muy evidente. Por lo general, las mesas cuanto mas cerca esten de la presidencia mejor numeracion tendran. Entre similares distancias la centrada con respecto a la ladeada, y la que esta a la derecha de la presidencia frente a la que se ubica a la izquierda. El primer puesto de cada mesa es el que en mejor posicion frontal este con respecto a la persona que preside.
Scuze celor care stiu spaniola foarte bine, nu pot pune “tilde” (accentele) din cauza tastaturii. Cred ca n-are nicio relevanta sa traduc. Si acum cand ma gandesc… ce cursuri misto am, as fi putut sa invat mai din timp…
Precum prea bine vedeti n-am prea multi prieteni bloggeri (de ce oare imi suna atat de rau cuvantul asta?) asa ca pasez leapsa numai la Annacor.
So I fell in love… For the second time in my life. Should I say that it was for the last time? No… nothing is forever. I left and I’m proud of myself that I did. Maybe if the subway would have been 5 more minutes late I wouldn’t have. It’s better that it came.
Yet again I hate myself for being stupid, for falling in love, for shivering while writing. But didn’t I want to suffer? Am I not the Drama Queen? Don’t I feel alive when I suffer, can’t I write better? Why believe you? Why not be rational now, when I know what’s next? I’m cold and I can’t concentrate, and my hands are still shivering. I don’t know wether it’s because of the cold, of the subway or because of other reasons.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? Does it? So after all, what you don’t know can’t hurt you. So true… I just… oh… I’m just stupid again. You sent me a messaje that I shouldn’t read that letter because it’s private… so what are you doing reading this now? I thought that along the years I tought myself not to be curious anymore. Who am I fooling? Myself again? No, this time I left.
I finally said “no”, although I should have said that since the night of the concert, since I realised. But why did I say yes in the first place? Oh yeah, because I knew I’d get hurt somehow because of you.
I’m almost home. Closer and closer…
Good night Madrid wherever you left me.
Doamne, cum sa te indragostesti pentru a doua oara? Nu trebuie sa iubim o singura data in viata? Este adevarat ca mai degraba iubesti dupa 2 saptamani decat dupa 7 luni? Daca-i spui ca-l iubesti dupa atat de putin timp se sperie? Cum sa spui asa ceva…
Sunt absolut indragostita. La sfaturile celor pe care acum ii numesc prieteni mi-am permis sa las de la mine si sa cobor putin scutul. Madriiiiiiiiiiid, te iubesc si iubesc. Nu pot sa cred. Jur ca nu ma cunosc. Acum sunt sigura. Sunt atat de fericita, e cel mai frumos sentiment. Si dupa vine furtuna. Dar nu spuneam eu ca momentele astea merita platite? Sunt dispusa sa platesc ca sa iubesc… inca odata.
Ma simt neputincioasa in bratele lui, imi feresc privirea atunci cand ma priveste, ma inmoi cand ma saruta, imi ia toata puterea, simt cum sangele meu fuge repede prin inima mea catre el. Iar povestea de dragoste superba, cu scene de film care se termina mereu prost. Vest versus Est, lumi diferite si torusi suflete incredibil de asemanatoare.
De ce trebuie sa-mi feresc privirea atunci cand il simt ca se uita la mine? De ce ma simt ca o adolescenta atunci cand imi spune ca sunt frumoasa cand de obicei nu dau doi bani pe vorbele frumoase ale barbatilor, de ce nu pot sa-i zic ceva dragut? Dar pot sa imi apropii mana de a lui, sa ma sprijin de spatele lui si sa-i vad zambetul in coltul gurii, sa-l sarut cu pasiune, sa-l mangai si sa-l las sa ma mangaie.
M-am indragostit foarte tare. Incredibil. O sa traiesc si o sa incetez sa ma gandesc la ce o sa fie. O sa traiesc exact ceea ce mi se ofera fara sa ma mai intreb, fara sa il mai intreb. Ah, Madrid, mi-ai dat tot ce mi-am putut dori vreodata. Multumesc.
Tocmai am primit o leapsa de la gadjodillo . E prima mea leapsa, sa vedem cum m-am descurcat:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesnt make sense. NO CHEATING!
4. Tag 5 people
5. Bold the questions and with the answers, give your own comments on how it relates to the questions.
1. How are you feeling today?
Chip frumos – taraful de la clejani (nu chiar, dar cantecul asta ma face sa ma simt asa)
2. Will you get far in life?
Latin express – nu te mai iubesc (si daca te apuci si analizezi, desi e vorba despre Latin Expreeeeeeees, te apuci si te gandesti… hmm… cu dragostea nu ajungi prea departe – btw, de ce am cantecul asta?)
3. How do your friends see you?
Ruslana – wild dances (clar cantecul imi aminteste numai de noptile petrecute dansand pe acel bar din Bucuresti, cu “fetele mele”)
4. Will you get married?
What else is there – royksopp (una din melodiile mele house preferate… deci ma casatoresc sau nu?)
5. What’s your best friend’s theme?
Ioana radu – lelita ioana 
))
6. What is the story of your life?
Beyonce feat sean paul – baby boy (ca bine a venit melodia asta ca raspuns)
7. What was high school like?
Prodigy – diesel power (nici mai mult nici mai putin decat diesel power)
8. How can you get ahead in life?
Arman van helden – my my my (prea multe intrebari in aceste versuri)
9. What is the best thing about your friends?
Queen – Barcelona (hai ca asta deja suna a destin)
10. What is in store for this weekend?
Mai tii minte maaai, draga marie (as trage o hora sincera sa fiu!)
11. What song describes you?
Maria Tanase – Ciuleandra (perfect!)
12. to describe your grandparents?
Ioane ioane (nu fac legatura)
13. How is your life going?
Prince – cream (smoooooooth baby… uh!)
14. What song will they play at your funeral?
Mylene Farmer – les mots (de acum inainte o sa ma gandesc de fiecare data cand voi asculta cantecul la intrebarea asta…)
15. How does the world see you?
Beyonce – Naughty girl (should I say more?)
16. Will you have a happy life?
Vama veche – epilog (of. atat pot spune)
17. Do people secretly lust after you?
Dido – afraid to sleep (se pare ca nu)
18. How can I make myself happy?
Tarkan – dudu
19. What should you do with your life?
Pink – there you go (welcome to my world)
Pasez leapsa la annacor in gradina.
So it’s Thursday. Every day of the week i’ve been drunk. Every night. Starting on Monday. I probably shouldn’t write this down now, but… wtf. Today Julie2 (Tomate) left to Lebanon. I’m a little sad but if she’ll have fun that’s what matters.
I spent the day with her and than I got home a little hungry and with “ganas de hacer algo”. So, as you can see, when I’m a little bit drunk I start confusing things and languages. Well… no problem.
Now I want to go out. Or do I just want to spend time with him? Well… whatever. Anyway it’s Thursday, I’m still in Madrid and I’m happy. Does anything else matter? Fuck it! Madrid loves me and I love it. Or should I say HIM?
I love you Madrid!
I don’t know why, but I find it so difficult to write about my experiences, my feelings, my life in English. Since I’ve been here I’m only speaking Spanish and English and sometimes it feels like I forgot my own language as I only speak it over the telephone, just for a few minutes a day.
One day I called my best friend and I just spoke to her in Spanish. And I spoke a lot. Could you just forget your own language if you stop using it? Can our brains really adapt so quickly to another life, adapt so dramatically that you even start thinking in a language that is not yours?
Well, the truth is that Madrid changed me. People tried to change me over the years, friends, boyfriends, my parents. I never did. Happy or unhappy, I just didn’t want to change. And I always said that people don’t change. They can correct themselves but they don’t change.
Come to think about it, I’m just the same. Only that my life changed. I’m not scaired although I should be. All my life I’ve been a spoiled child that always knew could get anything and everything, that always had big expectations (or should I use Great Expectations), that always had a plan.
I started planning my life ever since I was 13 or 14. 10 years passed and it took me a flight to Madrid to learn that life is still a bitch and she’s still in control. You might think that you are the one in charge, but then… take a closer look.
Again I managed to switch to English and now words started to come easier. Well, hello old me with a new life, hello old me with new perspectives, hello old me speaking a new language, or maybe… hello new me. Exclamation sign.
And here it was: another piece of Madrid, only now it’s a piece of my mind, my mind that is falling for Madrid. Or is that my heart? Madrid, me estoy enamorando de ti… or is it Madrid, I’m falling in love with you. No. It’s just Madrid, ma indragostesc de tine! A piece of mind or just peace of mind.
